Friday, May 29, 2009

Week from hell

Well life has been horrendous here this week. Monday is always my busy day at work and this week was no exception - then I had to take Hannah to our GP cos her ear was oozing. Tuesday we have swimming and then music and then after a hurried lunch I dropped Kit at my inlaws and took Hannah over to meet the 'sleep dr'. He was actually very nice - asked various questions commented on how wonderful Hannah is (a sure way to win my approval) and now I am waiting on the paperwork for her to have a sleep study done in August. He also gave her a nasal spray which in some cases has been found to shrink adenoids. A couple of the things he asked about were of interest - Hannah is often sweaty while she is sleeping - he asked this - and I said 'yes' but we had always thought it was because she sleeps in the corner of the room farthest from the door (unlike Kit in the doorway). He also talked about needing to stop her need to breath through her mouth so much and seemed to think that her impossibly green nose throughout winter might be affected by her having a high roof - which leaves less space for her nasal passages/cavity.
On Wednesday I dropped Hannah at EI and Kit and I went to get her script for the nose spray filled before racing around the local supermarket getting some groceries. A quick lunch and once again I took Kit over to his grandfather while Hannah and I went to see the pediatric dermatoligist about her psoriasis - which by the way - is going along nicely although it is not totally cleared yet. Got a call from a woman in charge of a transition program for 9yrs+ students with mild-moderate intellectual disability that has a great reputation and is near here- it is at a posh religious (not Catholic) school - $2000 enrollment application and $1200 upwards for each year of education. It is not the sort of school that would ever interest me (although as I said the transition program has a great rep) but anyways due to a letter I had published [it's on my other blog Mainstream Musings] she was ringing to tell me about their great program - annoyed me (to put it mildly) by making it clear that Han was only welcome when that program started - not for the 4 years before hand - oh no - their mainstream school only wants the kids that can virtually teach themselves then - a very traditional program where apparently the kids are meant to be able to read and write BEFORE starting school. She recommended I come and have a look at their program for later - a 'light at the end of the tunnel' she said - no thanks. I didnt' say that to her obviously but I was annoyed that they were so clearly not interested in true inclusive education from kindy up. Home in time for dinner. Did I mention that I have also been sitting up each night until midnight (at least) to mark major research assignments of my students?
Then on Thursday I dropped the twins at preschool, worked all day, called in at the GPs office cos I needed a script for Hannah's ear infection which just hasn't been getting better and then sat up late marking again. Kit got another invite to a boys party and I know it is silly but it is the second one which hasn't included Hannah. Her little friend's (with DS) Mum has invited both the twins to her party but in the 'regular' school environment I know that that will change - it is just I am not quite ready for it yet - Kit finds it a bit confusing too. I have to confess that I almost resent his wonderful and beautiful nature cos it is just so unfair - I know it isn't his fault but still on a really dark day i worry that I 'take it out on him' for want of a better way of saying it. I wonder how other parents go - or am I a total freak who occassionally looks at my son - and thinks "Mate you have it so much easier than your sister" or when I go to ask him how his day was and I know I'll get a very articulate response or when I open his preschool bag to see his work I know that it will be just amazing and then I go to Hannah's bag and she is wonderful and amazing too - but so far behind her brother and she still has no special friends while he is (according to one Mum) 'the only boy who plays with the girls too". So yes I am absolutely busting with pride in him but there is that little bit of me that on a bad day I worry about. I usually vent with things like "I do all this planning for Hannah and then you know, she is fine - Kit is the one who hangs back" Kit is a beautiful little boy just because of who he is and also because he has Hannah as a twin. He is a bright little boy and I worry that no matter how hard I try to conceal these irrational feelings from him - he picks them up - and I don't want him to - cos it ISN't his responsibility. He is an absolutley gorgeous little boy who I am so lucy t have. I hate the days I feel like that.
Tonight has been fairly quiet and pleasant as it is Friday. I hope next week will be better however will have to wait and see. Monday will be from busy cos all my marks for the semester are due and the system is struggling to cope with the volume of courses and students on it. Tuesday Hannah is having her first formal assessment - a psychometric one for school next year, my SIL is starting treatment for breast cancer and on Thursday the principal of the primary school I really want Hannah and Kit to go to will be visiting the preschool to monitor how she goes...maybe I should just pin my hopes on the week after that being more pleasant - it begins with Dad coming back to stay with us for a week which will be great...
Can't think of any more to whinge about - will think about how I feel about the psychometric test and post on Mainstream Musings sometime - it is my separate place dedicated to the horror that is education for children with mild-moderate disabilities in NSW. Fingers crossed for a good weekend. I'll try and find some more photoes of the twins cos they really are amazing and I am sure that they wll have a wonderful time no matter what we do.


My name is Sarah said...

Wow you have had quite a week. Hang int here.

Anne said...

That's a tough week. I hate the comparison between kids. When Nick was little, whenever his older sibs would accomplish something there was a small part of me that said "Nick will never do that." It was so unfair to them all because it marred my joy over the older kids accomplishment and lowered my expectations of Nick. It's gotten better now that I can see what he can do, and I gave myself a good talking to.

Hope your sister in-law's treatment goes well. My SIL was treated for breast cancer about 2 years ago, she's in remission now and doing well.