Yesterday...I met a remarkable woman and some of her family
Yesterday went very well. Hannah seems to like her new special ed teacher - a mother of 4 back from maternity leave. She updated a checklist (milestones) for Hannah that we have been using since she started there and it was lovely to be able to tick off a few more boxes - like the walking one!
The eye Dr doesn't want to see her for 2 years. YAY! So that was all good - a nightmare though as the eye drops made Hannah grumpy and hot and then of course she got tired being in the waiting room for so long (the whole thing meant we were there for just over 2 hours) so was even grumpier - I haven't had to deal witha grumpy hannah like that for a long time - it wasn't pleasant!
While I was there I met a mum, grandma and little boy called B. B is the same age as Hannah - only he is not sitting or crawling as he has cerebral palsy. He had the same hair colour as Hannah so naturally he caught my eye. He also had a lovely face. We were just passing the time chatting. B has a big brother J who is 7. J looks like a big version of his little brother - his Mum showed me her wallet photo of both boys - J had a big gorgeous grin, red hair and freckles. He is in a wheelchair, doesn't communicte verbally and is fed via his stomach. He too has CP.
I can't imagine what it must be like for that family. In many ways I am sure their life is pretty much like mine, in other ways it must be very different. As I drove home my mind was racing. I can't say that I felt sad exactly - emotional yes - there were tears in my eyes. Mostly though I was thinking about that woman's optimism. I recognised it of course because I share it too. Then I thought about fate - that great wild beast beyond our control. That woman's optimism was palpable. Her photoes of her sons showed each boys uniqueness and her pride in them. Sometimes choices are not better than fate. There is of course no prenatal testing for CP. They told me that. The mother also said that she knew her chances of having a child and then another child with CP were higher than average. I guess that is what made the word 'optimism' come so strongly to mind.
I have been thinking about Arthur Miller and his son Danny - the one he never mentioned in his biography, who was institutionalised (he would only be a few years older than me now) and who was visited regularly by his mother but never by his father - according to the excerpts I read online. I am in no place to judge A Miller - that isn't what this is about. On my drive home yesterday I kept thinking about him and then B and Js Mum. Miller lost on his choice and perhaps he died not knowing that but I can't help but think that those who have and still care for and love Danny Miller know it. Maybe optimism is what Arthur Miller needed more of.