Thursday, September 28, 2006

Infertility Crisis

And so I learn that fertility issues don't end once you fall pregnant. The waiting for each cycle to begin - all the while praying that it it won't - guess what! It doesn't stop once you have achieved your goal of pregnancy - or at least it does but only for 9 + a few months. So now here I am exactly where I was before but now with two - TWO children and still not satisfied!!! I can't believe it - it makes me crazy! How can that be? For so long I focussed on the outcome of falling pregnatn with no thought to the future - but I want more!!!!!!! It is as strong a desire - a call of the wild as ever before - but this time I feel so totally ridiculous. I have TWO absolutely beautiful children. We are in no way financially able to cope with any more - never mind the difficulties it presents - we had icsi for the twins after all. I wish I could feel some peace about this. I need to feel sme peace. I know the glass is half full - but where is the rest of it?


Beth said...


I do so understand the longing you describe. I have felt it myself, probably most women have.
I think somehow you just know when your family is complete and you are not satisfied until it is.
Some people are never lucky enough (as we have been) to be blessed with overcoming infertility, and in our cases, even being doubly blessed with twins.
However, rationalize as we might that we should be content, somehow those feelings somehow remain.

I'm not talking about myself here, by the way...I've had these feelings before, but am quite done now with the four we have!!!!

Wishing peace for you... and maybe another baby or two as well!

Shelley said...

Beth thank you so much for your lovely comment - it is so nice to feel that someone understands how strong such feelings are. I believe I have a third child out there, one that may never have the chance to be born, and when I am particularly hormonal that child comes to the fore yelling for release! My husband naturally enough thinks I am insane, so it helps that I can say stuff and know that someone like you, who has been there can empathise. Thanks