Sunday, September 24, 2006

Beautiful Bubs and Magnificant Mums

I was pondering life as Hannah's Mum because DSA NSW asked me to come along to their annual 'mums and bubs' morning tea and to speak a bit about my journey so far. Of course I said I'd go - how could I miss an opportunity to spend time with a bunch of new babies?? Last year when I went, I was one of the 'mums and bubs' as the twins were not yet 1.

Most of the babies there were under 18 months so Han really was an oldie! God, those babies were beautiful! Their Mums had come from all over greater Sydney and some from even further away. At the risk of being overly sentimental: given that the only thing that those women knew they had in common was a baby with DS - there was a variety of people, backgrounds, stories, health problems, concerns ... but the love - that was the same for everyone and magnificant in its passion and in its completeness - they really were amazing women. And I have to say that for some of them still raw from coming to terms with the diagnosis it was brave to attend such a function.

I have never believed or particulary liked the adage that 'God chooses special people for these sort of babies' line - I believe (perhaps a bit naively) that any parent would and should do their very best - no matter what the situation and by and large I think we all do - there is nothing special about the person per se but there is something about the parenting experience that is unique. And as many of you know also very 'normal'. As I listened to these women talk about themselves and thier babies I felt great respect for what people with open hearts and eyes/ears can achieve. There were some heartrending stories too but I don't feel it is my place to share them in such a public space. Enough said. It was a great day and although I 'fluffed' what I had wanted to say - the day was really for those new mums to share their stories and there was plenty of that going on - it was wonderful to be a part of the whole thing.


mum2brady said...

What a fun experience! I, too, love the new babies - they are just soooo dang cute! I'm with you, I don't believe God gave me Brady because I was "special" or a better mother or better able to handle a child with special needs. I'm just an everyday mom, who tries to do her best by each and every one of my children. I think everyone has the ability to step up and handle what is given to them. As for me, I feel incredibly blessed that God chose me to be Brady's mom, he has blessed me and changed me in ways I could never have imagined, and I'm grateful that he's in our family :)

I loved this post - thanks for sharing!

Michelle said...

What a great post being with the new moms and babies and remembering your own time in their shoes! I'm sure they were glad to hear of your experience thus far!

Emily Elizabeth said...

there is nothing special about the person per se but there is something about the parenting experience that is unique.

That is it exactly.

I wasn't chosen by God to mother Emma Jayne, I was chosen by Emma. I will always be grateful to her for choosing me to walk through life with her when it's the experience of being her mother that has made me special; this walk which has made me stronger; this life with her that has made me who I am today. I was a different person the day she was born and I thank the universe almost everyday that she had enough faith in me to take a chance on me.

As for the old cliche that "God only gives special babies to special parents", I have always despised that statement and dreaded hearing it from others who felt they had to try to comfort me. All babies are special. But I do think that adage is a poor attempt to express the truth that you have so eloquently described here and I certainly know the cliche is only said with all the right intentions...if only those that use the adage would just read your post before they talk to us! LOL!

jotcr2 said...

Yes, can't see how having a DS kid makes you chosen. But, yes also, that you have to be on the ball when raising your kids that have extra needs. I think it is a matter to rising to the challenge.