Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Today was the last session of the Hanen - It Takes Two To Talk - course that I have been doing for parents of children with developmental delays. One of the mums there said that when other mums ask her how old her son is she lies and knocks 12 months off his age - it avoids questions she has no interest in answering for strangers. It took me back to when the twins were very young and I was asked at LEAST three times EVERY time I ventured out - are they twins? Then there was an array of awkward, rude or disbelieving looks ... It doesn't happen much anymore.
It did happen recently in a social situation - the twins and I were at a function where 2 of the mum there know that Hannah has DS - one in particular is one of our closest friends and she has a very special relationship with both of my children - at one point one of the mums asked me (in front of everyone) what the age difference was between them - I said "they are twins, they are two". Her face was a picture and the silence that followed was awkward to say the least. It happens so rarely now - and even less at actual social functions that I was quite unprepared so I just left her hanging looking shocked - clearly trying to work out what to say/do or what was 'wrong'. I felt a bit bad for her but it wasn't as if I was likely to develop a relationship with these women further - they were nice but a bit too competitive mum style for me - and clearly part of the complacent mothers club that 'just can't believe it can happen to me' (or anyone I know for that matter!) group. A bit harsh I know but I belong to a different club - the one for Mums who go to Hanen courses - Grad school parenting as I have heard it called - and I have to say they are a great bunch of women with beautiful children of all types of abilities and skills.
Anyways such things make me even more grateful for the wonderful group of friends and family that I belong to. My husband played his first 'live' gig since high school on Sunday. The twins stayed at that wonderful friend's house and joined in the family birthday celebration for her daughter. I went and was No 1 groupie - in the audience was my sister in law, 4 very old and dear friends we went to school with, a couple of friends who had left their wives at home with children so they could support P - we have been friends with them for about 14 years or so and a few 'kiwi' connections who we have been friends with for about 7 years or so I guess. It was such fun - and so long since I had been in a pub to see a band with this bucnh of people - many of whom P and I used to do this sort of thing with almost every weekend!
In the break I went to the bar and had a total blank - I had just wanted to order a beer - spot the mum of 2 year old twins! I had no idea! and then once I had somehow managed to communicate my drink of choice - I went to my wallet and it was empty! and no I wasn't inebriated - it was to be my first and only drink for the event as I was desiganted driver! How my skill set has changed - now if they had wanted a rendition of Ring a Rosie or a No Spill cup of milk ...