Mum is home again. Thank goodness. My sister reports that she is stronger than when she came home at Christmas. That is good. It seems that each time she gets sick now we must wait with baited breath to see if she'll make it through. I remember Mum saying that the only time in all their years together (my parents met a few years earlier but married in 1961) she had only seen Dad break down once - not that we are big supporters of the Aussie Macho Man myth - but that is what my Dad is like. He is a loving generous man who is obviously devoted to his family and has a strong integrity. Anyways that time was about 10 yrs ago when his little Silky Terrier Leo had to be put to sleep. Dad had tried everything to keep him going after his back legs were crushed by a car - but to no avail. She didn't see the next time, my sister did. It was while he was on the phone with me, explaining the situation - and just how dark the picture painted by the drs was about Mum surviving. Now I know that drs are not always correct - but having my Dad break down like that. He was under so much pressure - he had spent the day at the hospital until midnight on the day they admitted Mum, then he had gone up early the next day and when this happened he was at my sisters at about 10pm. My heart goes out to both of them. Their level of devotion to each other is wonderful and magical but death isn't - it is a nasty intruder that snatches away those we love dearly. It steals our breath and if we let it our joy too.

Tonight going through some old photoes (clearing the third bedroom a bit) I looked at photoes of one of mmy favourite aunties, crippled with arthritis, a smoke in each hand (I presume she was holding one for soemone else!) and a big smile on her face. Then her daughter at a different family gathering, one of the most beautiful, loving yet tragic people I have ever known. She wasn't a smoker - she is standing near her sister her beautiful blue eyes alert and her face happily smiling - hiding all the sorrow in her heart and the tragic death brought on by alcolism before she turned 40. I wonder if they realise that we miss them every day??????????

Earlier this week my friend's mother died. It was after a long battle with cancer. She was a remarkable personality. Then I heard from my father that one of my cousins had been killed instantly in a car crash - in a country town in QLD. How can such things happen? Theresa was a fun and loving person who lived life to the full. She was crossing the wide road in her home town after aerobics. I don't know the genetic condition she had but I know it was inherited - and it meant she had an intellectual impairment, none of which is really relevant when the time comes for the family to drive out to south west QLD to pray with her family and ourn her too early death. I wish I could go too. The photo up the top was teken in the 80s (as if you couldn't tell!!) - it is me, mysister and Therese on the front porch in that country town.

RIP. May the Lord look kindly upon the and shine his love on those left here.

PS - it is tomorrow morning and I am feeling a bit better about things - today I am going to the funeral of that friend's Mum. I hope that everything goes smoothly for the family - it isn't going to be an easy day. Our friend has 3 kids - 2 of whom are just old enough to work out that something big has happened in their family. I hope their day isn't too confusing for them. I know it will bring back memories for my husband (and FIL) of when his mother (wife) died (of a different type of cancer) - 20 years ago this year - because she and Audrey were friends as their children were and we still count on him as one of our closest and dearest friends. So just as he was their for P when his Mum died, now it is my Ps turn to be there for his friend. sigh ... maybe not so great yet ... maybe tomorrow I'll regroup better.